THAT IS IT.........

I have been pretty much locked in my house for the past 7 weeks and I have taken a big ole swan dive off the cliff of insanity and decided I am taking my house BACK!!!!  (and yes 4 exclamation marks were necessary).

Since we don't have our cleaning crew anymore (for which I first have to thank the big obnoxious food company) Sundays has become our day of cleansing.  Not the cleansing of the soul but of the pig sty we call a house.  I had it all planned out... dust the downstairs, run the vacuum, and mop the floor.  Little did I know that this would end with my husband trembling like the dog at the vet.  Those who know me, and have been to my house, know that housekeeping just ain't my thing.  As long as things are relatively clean and safe The Fortuitous Haus Frau house just rolls.  But this morning that train came to an abrupt stop and we had an emergency evacuation.... even our 1 year old was running for cover.

My formal dining room was literally knee-deep in wonderful art projects only a 6 year old can declare invaluable.  When I recycled those I found that my dining room table had been loving decorated with permanent marker and some unidentified substances that are not coming off... no matter how hard I scrub.  We have dents and gouges in walls.... to which I shout "It looks like we live with animals".  Clearly not processing and looking to appease his crazed wife  my husband quickly replies... we do have 3 100-pound dogs.  Bad choice of words for Mr. Haus Frau!

On previous long weekends, when I was in the miserable land of being employed by the obnoxious food company, I would express my creativity by painting rooms in our house.  Because I never really had time to do it right, I still have what my mom calls as "holidays" on the ceilings and moldings.... who will notice the pumpkin orange on the ceiling of the bathroom when it is now pale blue? ..... I will tell you who... the crazy Haus Frau that is who!

I am headed to Home Depot this week to pick up some ceiling paint and god knows what else.... I am taking comfort in the fact that if we have to sell the house (again thank you big obnoxious food company) then at least that is one less thing I will have to do.

With my hair sticking up in odd angles, frothing at the mouth, and clearly not functioning on all cylinders I proclaimed "I AM TAKING THE HOUSE BACK!!!"

Throughout this incomprehensible adventure my 1-year old followed me around and was fascinated by the little things...bubbles in my dirty water bucket, spray bottles, and paper towels....  but nothing could make a Mama prouder than to hear her children repeat verbatim what she has heard her mama say ..... shit! shit! shit!  I needed a tissue to wipe away my tears of joy.