Warning- Losing Your Job Leads to Loss of Cognitive Function and Eyesight

I wanted to warn all employed people about the risks of losing your job.  Thanks to my omnipotent outplacement friends I am now aware of this severe risk.  Apparently you lose the ability to see and comprehend.

Below I have pasted an actual email I received from my buddies who are always watching out for me.  Please note I deleted the name of the company so as not bring any unsolicited laughter their way.... nothing else was changed.

Hello,

Welcome to [Insert Outplacement Name here]'s online program, ChallengerTops.  I invite you to sign up and login to your account by going to the following link:

https://www.icareermanager.com/login/challengerTops/login.aspx

and entering the following Passcode:  cgc2008 

You will then be asked to pick out a username, a password and enter some basic information on yourself.

Once you have signed up, please confirm this to me by replying to this message.  Once I receive your e-mail, I will fully activate your account so that you can get started.

Please let me know if you have questions.

Thanks,

Kelly

Being a highly educated, professional woman I had no idea that one month from The Talk I would be so incapacitated that I would be completely incapable of comprehending my native language or emails, and forget about actually being able to see it.  Whew!  I am glad they are covering all of the angles.  Thanks to their expertise in communication with the unemployed I was able to figure out how to start the internet, type in the address, and successfully sign up for their ground breaking, concierge service.   I have no doubt that their superior service will quickly bring comic relief for us all.

I am guessing that when I replied in 24 point, bolded type that the message was lost in translation.